Although its mom’s job to carry the baby for the nine months of pregnancy, dads also have a very important role before, during and after the birth. The impact of a father’s involvement in the life of his child has been shown to have a lasting, positive effect, and it begins even before the baby is born. Spend time talking to your baby during the pregnancy – he can hear you and will recognize your voice when he is born! The bond with your child is also strengthened by activities such as attending prenatal visits, taking parenting classes and preparing the nursery.
After the baby is born, dads can help their newborns to a healthier life by supporting mom’s decision to breastfeed. This support can be as simple as bringing the baby to her for evening feedings, or changing diapers as needed. But new dads can also do lots of other things to help moms and get to know their baby at the same time.

Here are a few tips on how dad can help with the baby:

• Help with rocking, cuddling and comforting your baby.
• Give the baby a bath or a calming massage.
• Help mom ignore negative comments from well-meaning friends and relatives like: “Are you sure you have enough milk?” Maybe you should use formula, too.” Tell mom she is doing great and that she is helping baby to grow.
• Suggest that mom take a nap or rest while you carry baby in the sling, or take her for a walk in the stroller.
• If you have other children, spend some time with them. This will help them to feel special, and also gives mom some alone time with the new baby.
• Limit the number of visitors so that mommy and baby can catch up on some much needed rest.

Sometimes new fathers may feel that they are being left out because all the attention goes to baby and mom – it is important to tell your partner how you feel. She is probably just as overwhelmed by the adjustment in her lifestyle, and talking about it will help both of you.

If you are like many families these days, you may be living apart from your child. Keep in mind that father involvement is particularly influential in this first year of life, so do your best to keep an open relationship with the mother of your child. Understand that it is her role to breastfeed, but that there are other ways for you to nurture your child.

As your child gets older, stay involved as much as possible. Research is showing that fathers’ involvement positively affects children’s social skills, brain development, and academic achievement.

If you are worried about being a good father, you are not alone. Check out your local library or internet sites for books and DVD’s on parenting children of any age. You will learn how to be a good father by daily “on the job” training, too!

Stephanie Sosnowski is deputy director of Maternal Infant Services Network (MISN) of Orange, Sullivan, and Ulster Counties Inc., a not-for-profit organization that coordinates health and human services for pregnant women and children. If you need help or have a question, call 800-453-4666; send an e-mail to info@misn-ny.org or go to the Web at www.misn-ny.org.

For More Information on FREE or LOW COST Health Insurance, Prenatal Care or Breastfeeding Support Call 1-800-453-4666.